The Road to Ruin

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When it’s said that all roads lead to Rome, you might mean, “There’s many ways to get to the same destination.”  Or, it might mean “All paths lead to a central point.”  There’s an inevitability about the destination.  But more literally, all the great roads led to Rome, the capital center of the great empire.  Numerous remains exist today, a testament to the skill of their engineering and construction methods, including the depth of the roads and the materials used (including concrete). 

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That was for their major roads, of which there were 29 great military ones, as distinguished from an additional 343 (merely) great roads. The Romans were the first to establish a purposeful system of roads, with Rome at the hub and the roads extending as spokes to their conquered empire.  Certainly it encouraged commerce and the travel of its citizens.  But it also provided swift access of its armies to the 113 provinces that were connected.  If your province rebelled or failed to pay taxes, be sure to welcome the Roman legion swiftly dispatched to your city gate. 

As the Greek culture pursued knowledge and the Hebrew culture focused on finding the light amid the darkness, there was no question that glory was the goal of all things Roman.  Not all of the roads were paved, but one can imagine that the roads closest t the city would reflect this aspiration.  You’d want visitors to be impressed, to be awed by the splendor of the place, if not its power.

So, we’re driving west on I-20 in South Carolina, and take Exit 58 (by the way, the Romans also instituted mile markers).  U.S. Hwy 1.  A Scenic wonder!

How about a flea market!

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That’s a BIG thing on a weekend.  So big, you might need another.

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It might be a challenge among all those great buys figuring out what is worth your hard earned cash.  No worries!  We have Spiritual Healers and Advisors to give you guidance.

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At a loss for what to wear?  Not a problem.  Ample choices.  I might suggest Mr. Shorty’s.  It has an understated look and probably has more respectable options for some killer sleeves to showcase while wearing that wife beater T-shirt.

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Those tats may be helpful to discourage unsavory folks from relieving you of your valuables, or, at least, whatever it was you bought at the flea market.  It’s not every road that has Batgirl ready to escort pedestrians across it.  And barefoot, too.  Her feet are toughened up for the hottest of southern city streets. 

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But, of course, not everyone walks.  US 1 is a road, after all.  You won’t find any big and shiny factory dealerships, but someone has what you need.  No need to worry about credit scores; they tell you that up front.  You can try Big State Car Sales. Or D&A Used Cars, Shaw’s Used Cars, 5K Motors, Carolina Rides, Don’s Used Cars (and Trucks!), #1 Auto Sales or, my favorite, Quick and Easy Auto Outlet! Just walk in, and they’ll fix you up with a ride out.  If you have problem on the next uphill part, don’t worry.  There’s parts stores, too, for anything you couldn’t find at the flea market.  

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I know, I know.  Living costs money.  Don’t worry, you’ve got Dollar General AND Family Dollar, within a mile of each other.  And to get those dollars, you have choices.  You can try  Access to Money.  You can get dollars today for money you haven’t even earned yet.  Or, if you find that your car somehow, someway got filled with cool tools, electronics and jewelry that you don’t need, then heck?  Why be broke?  No, I mean, Y B Broke Gold & Pawn.  Get your smackers right there! 

And, if it so happens that you should drive around at times other than night for your career endeavors, hey, try Palmetto Pro Tint to maintain a discreet profile.  The fuzz will never know it’s you.  After all that extra curricular activity, maybe you’re hungry.  We have an international option for you.  Why settle for hamburger and hot dog joints or any ol’ greasy spoon?  You can satisfy your belly with Greek seasonings.  I know!  Say it ain’t so!  

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Now, not everyone can afford to pay others to cook their food.  Not to worry.  You can go socialize at The Meat’n Place.  Buy your own pig portion, set your BIC lighter to it for a time, and you’re all set.

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So, you got some cash in your pocket, a new set of wheels, a spark plug socket and car lift, and you’ve chowed down.  Now you need a place to rest, to call home, something suitable to place that poster of dearly departed #3 (ain’t Jr. a disappointment?) and to stash your Busch beer empties.  Got. You. Covered.

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No utilities provided, but, hey, it’s usually sunny in the South except when it’s not, and there’s trees and bushes suitable for any toileting needs.  If that’s good only some of the time and the missus needs an occasional powered curl to her hair, then when you have a few extra bucks, you can rent a room with a scenic highway view, by the day, week or the month!

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If all of these riches are within your means and meet your lifestyle choices, then remember:  Exit 58.  Or, just look for the highway sign that points you to where you’re headed, giving a name to your glorious destination: “University of South Carolina.  This exit.”  

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