Nathan Fillion Cracks Me Up

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Yeah, I watched Firefly on DVD long after it was cancelled.  Yeah, I saw the advertisements when it was aired, but I never made it a point to watch.  Yeah, it would have been a fantastic show had it continued for more than its single season and a moderately satisfying theatric finale several years later.

And, yeah, it was still a fantastic show even if it lasted only one year.  Fans are innumerable, calling themselves Browncoats.   I’m one, too, but of the closet variety, appearing only at any Firefly panel at Dragon*Con amongst the hordes who are much more likely to dress the part.

And, it was at one such panel years ago that Nathan Fillion, “Captain Mal” from the series, held court with his co-stars.   I’ve been to other panels with the co-stars.  They’re tremendously entertaining.  But Nathan Fillion is like a gas.  He expands to fill the available space.   Even when he’s not there, he’s there, calling the cell phones of panelists while he’s on a shoot.  He’s virtually there. 

It’s all tremendously entertaining, enough so that as a Sci-fi fan, I was, despite an initial disappointment that he was leaving the genre, curious as to what he might make of Castle, a crime drama.  On Castle, Fillion plays a murder mystery writer. No disappointment there.  It’s often hilarious with via Fillion being himself.  Either the writers are excellent, or Fillion creates or ad-libs many of his lines. Funny guy. I don’t foresee his acting career falling short, but should it, I think he has a writing opportunity ahead.

He’s regularly entertaining enough that he’s worth following on Twitter for a person who doesn’t tweet.

Following is a recent blast of tweets, cut and pasted:

  • Today I will be dispensing poor advice and over-simplified solutions to problems. Who's first?
  • I'm outta peanut butter. What should I do?” Get more.
  • What should I put on my rash?” Shame.
  • I have an itch. Should I scratch it? It's itching.” Make an X on it with your nail.
  • Me! Any advice for a budding writer?” Less budding, more blossoming.
  • How do I get my cat to love me?” Put tuna in your shoe.
  • I'm hungry. Advise!!” You aren't hungry. Your problem is being truthful to yourself.
  • I'm a grown man who's too shy to talk to women! Help me!” Humiliate yourself twice a day. The rest will be cake.
  • How do I get my teenage daughter to clean her room?” Wait 1 hour b4 she goes to a party. She can go when it's clean.
  • Iron my wrinkled clothes or buy new?” Throw out iron. Buy a steamer.
  • I have five kids and my husband wants another. Should I go for six?” At this point, what's the diff?
  • how do I stop receiving mail? getting bills is annoying.” Pay online. Save a tree.
  • I got a paper cut. What should I do?” Lemon juice, if you aren't a baby.
  • I'm 23 and struggling to find a job. How do I get mum to stop yelling at me about it?” Tell her you got a job stripping.
  • i wanna be an actress- parents don't approve.” Tell 'em you've decided to be a professional gambler.
  • llama or cat ?” Cat. Llamas spit. Unless you're into that.
  • I have a crush on an older guy, 17 years difference. What should I do?” Imagine dating someone 17 years younger.
  • Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?” Because just like me, they long to be close to you.
  • My neighbours are aguing outside, what should I do?” Download a crying baby sound and crank it.
  • I can't reach the remote, what should I do?” Go buy a new one.
  • I like a guy but he doesn't like me back. What should I do?” Like his friend.
  • My burrito was delicious but it's gone now. What should I do?” Put up signs.
  • I want more firefly but I've already watched all episodes + serenity. What now?! :(” Find an Internet support group.
  • How do I find my bliss?” It's underneath your purpose.
  • I keep unintentionally injuring myself, how do I prevent this?” Start intending it.
  • my ship crapped out in reaver space. Crew moral is low. What to do?” Sacrifice pilot.
  • My mom won't stop crying over her stupid boyfriend. I feel useless! What should I do?” Educate her boyfriend.
  • "Across the Universe" playing now. What should I listen to next?” Country roads.
  • my friends are having a feud, how can i help?” Pick a side.
  • will you be my dad?” Yes. You're grounded. And wash my car.
  • Do real men wear pink?” Would a real man be afraid of a color?
  • How can I persuade my mother to let me be a detective?” By finding some really great dirt on her.
  • why can't I make myself finish my novel?” Try blackmail.
  • I don't want to go to work, what should I do?” Find a place to live rent free.
  • how should I get rid of my pregnancy stretch marks?” Keep them to guilt trip your kids later.
  • advice for an aspiring actress?” Do things that scare you. Fail constantly.
  • I want to go into tv and film but I have no relevant talents that I know of, got any ideas?” Produce.
  • are you a good computer gamer?” We just say gamer, sweets.
  • Advice for a sleepy librarian?” Prop yourself up looking down at a book. Nap,wake, turn page, nap.
  • Do men prefer intelligent women or bimbos?” Men prefer women who don't need them, but can pretend they do.
  • there's a dead mouse smell. What should I do?” Dead cat smell will get rid of dead mouse smell.
  • If I swallow magnets will I be attractive?” No, but you'll point north.
  • my girlfriend is sick. What do I do?” Save up for a really good one.
  • Quickest way to catch Boy of Dreams” Set up snare in Field of Dreams.
  • how can I get my sister to watch#Castle?” Change the wifi password until she does.
  • what's the best thing in life?” To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women.
  • what would you say to a future teacher?” There is a 10 year delay on student gratitude.
  • How do I know for sure if I'm a Demigod?” Have they made a movie about you?
  • What should I do if I can't get my ex to leave me alone?” Tell his mom.
  • are you cheetah licious?” Remember. Cheetahs never prosper.
  • I'm building my own lightsaber...any advice on how to get started?” Toshi Station has the best power converters.
  • Are you a Highlander?” Dere can bee only won.
  • What's the manliest cocktail?” The Bloody Caesar.
  • What is your favorite book?” The one I stand on to reach the cookies.
  • I just turned 21. What should I do?” Pace yourself.
  • ok. what's the girliest of cocktails?” The Apple-tini.
  • how many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?” The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.
  • any advice for a grammar nazi?” Ending sentences with prepositions is something up with which you should not put.
  • what question cannot be answered?” "Are you still dead?"

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