A Period of Change in My Life

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My wife has always been artistic, but in her early days of working as an artist, we would go and look at galleries.  Artists are always looking for inspiration, whether it be subject matter, seasonal color preferences, presentation, bio stylings, etc. 

I don’t remember the particular piece of art, but I’m pretty sure it was a painting.  Let’s just imagine that it was a 4’ x 4’ painting, with one shade of red, and with discernible brush patterns that crisscross, swirl, go in circles… whatever. 

Let’s further imagine that the title of this work is Becoming, and it’s hung on the wall of an art gallery that specializes in original works.  I’m not going to judge anyone who finds something that they appreciate in any piece of art, and a great big splotch of red probably looks good on the walls of an office or a den or a garage or any other white wall.  Sure, there may be other factors like floor colors, other furniture, stone or wood finishes, or a single plastic carnation in a glass vase, standing on a French table just beneath.  Whatever.

But for me, an engineer by education, I look at it, scratch my head, and ask, “She wants $700 for this? I could do that for only $699!”  What’s the story here?

And for those who ask that question, conveniently located next to the “work” is a small index card sized bio, where the artist introduces herself and her background.  As she describes the piece, she explains that It represents a period of change in my life.”

That’s… remarkable.  Was it a divorce?  Second marriage?  Empty nest syndrome?  A disagreeable steak tartar?  The passing of your uncle’s best friend’s son’s goldfish, Fritz? The mourning after the final episode of Seinfeld?  Or a reawakening to the possibilities of “red” in the temporary supply shortage of paints of other colors? 

And to this day, my wife and I pull out that phrase whenever we come across B.S. in an appeal to the wine and cheese crowd who might actually believe it.

Sigh.

I’m not an artist and I don’t play one on TV.  But I can appreciate art.  Go me.  I also have an iPhone.  That doesn’t make me an artist, but it does have a camera. And that doesn’t make me a photographer.  And I get bored sometimes.  But that doesn’t make me a philosopher (It might make a blogger).

At such times, I could play Angry Birds… and sometimes I do.  But that takes longer than going through, say, a car wash.  And, if you’re in a car wash, and you enjoy watching the mechanical arms and water jets and soap dispensers and such, you might just be bored enough to realize that they make interesting soap or spray patterns on your windshield.

If, by chance, you also write a blog, you may find that you take pictures of odd things just for the possibility that they may relate to some subject that you may warm to later.  Or more simply, if you’re bored, and you have your iPhone, and there’s soap bubbles, yeah.  Why not take pictures?

I’m not going through a period of change in my life.  My car goes through changes regularly, from clean to dirty to clean to dirty…

Anyway, these hypothetical photos may sit on your phone, and sit on your phone, and… they’re awkward to explain to others as you scroll through your hundreds of photos in your phone’s library.  Perhaps, you could explain them away as representing a period of change in your life.  People buy into that stuff.

Anyway, I’m tired of them, and my photo library needs to be soaped, washed, and rinsed.  It needs a period of change in its life.

So, following are vintage 2009 car wash pictures (a highly collectible year).  First is the original, then reimaged (again at the expense of Angry Birds) using the following iPhone apps: Pixiromatic, PhotoTropedelic, and PictureShow.  If you find that you don’t have time to do this with your own photos, I might suggest air travel when at 20,000 ft.  It worked for me.

If you hover your mouse, you’ll find not-so-artistic descriptions of each.

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3 comments :

  1. Whoa! What's with all the porn pictures! That's hot!

    Gregg

    ReplyDelete
  2. you must have a clean car...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Looking out my wind screen will never be the same. :)

    ReplyDelete